Started Shit Anyway

Keep in mind that this is over and done with and i dont want to argue about it anymore. We're past this now, but I just want to get it off my chest

So i was doing a "lms n i'll post a confession" thing on facebook, cuz I was bored, and I was kinda gettin into it, and being brave (Kind of) So I posted one that said "My closest friends are some of the most antagonistic people I know" becasue its true. and then Steph, one of my best friends, commented with something along the lines of  'that really hurt' and i was sitting at Marks house when I read that. My immediate thought was to reply with 'well its true. How else to you want me to phrase it' but Mark, being the awesome boyfriend that he is, convinced me not to start drama over facebook. So instead, I posted another confession: "I am a coward and wont tell a certain person something face to face because I'm afraid it will break their heart" While thinking about Steph, because there was so much stuff she would do that just bugged the crap out of me, and I hadnt told her any of it, because I know how she likes to take things the wrong way and blow them out of proportion. But I wasnt just gonna out of the blue go up to her and be like "Hey, when you do this, i get mad" or whatever because I know I'm her best friend, and that would hurt her a hell of a lot.

Then she asked me about it. I knew I was gonna start stuff when I put that up, but I wasnt really sure how to deal with it. So at first I acted confused (Yes, i lied when I asked what you meant, steph. I was stalling, trying to think of how to say stuff), but when she kept pressing I finally blurted it out. a list of things she does that just annoys me so much. I didnt tell her everything (Because my mind goes blank when I try to think of things realy fast, and my text mesage wouldnt hold that much) so there are still a few things I havent said, but at this point I dont think I need to say them anymore.

So we argued back and forth for a while before we finally just said we're done. I dont know if either of us felt like we won. I know I didnt. I felt like shit because I made her feel like shit, because thats how I am. I'm empathetic (or sympathetic, or whichever it is) to all of my friends. If they're emotional, I'm emotional. For good or for bad. So i felt like absolute SHIT after that argument. I'm glad I was still at Marks house, because in the middle of it I started crying my eyes out.
He kept telling me it wasnt my fault and that it needed to be said, but I stil felt like I should've held it in longer. Just put up with it for a little longer. Just try to ignore the twinge of annoyance whenever it cropped up. But if I'd done that it probably would've made it even worse.

Most of the things I told her about were just little things, but there was so much, and it was the same little thing time and time again that made it bug me so fucking much. If I'd waited I probably would've blown up so much bigger.


Anyway. We're pretty much back to normal now. We arent yet, but thats because I havent seen her yet, and I still have to giver her a freaking BEAR HUG! Because I feel that only hugs are the real, absolute END to an argument. Because I do love my Stephie. So much. She's one of my best friends, and She's been my closest friend the longest (We met when I was in 4th grade, yo.)  and she needs me in her life, and I need her in my life.
After all, What are best friends for?

Valentines

So, y'all remember when I said my best friend was separated from her boyfriend? Yeah, So they officially broke up. On Valentines Day, no less. So she had an absolutely horrible V-day, which made me feel kinda guilty for having such an awesome one.

My amazing boyfriend bought me a betta for V-day. He's such a dork, but I love him so much. Anyway, so he got the little dude (Who I named Checkers(because I have a cat named Chess, so they're Chess and Checkers)) all set up, n then we went to go see a movie (Just Go With It which was great, btw) and then we went back to my house n hung out for a while, ate dinner with my family, n then I stayed the night at his house. It was awesome! ^-^

Anyway. Things are gonna be weird in the group now... Our two main members are split up, and its gona make everything awkward. I know things wont go back to normal any time soon (Or maybe ever) but I guess we'll figure things out as we go along.

Another thing? A year ago I never would've believed anyone that said I would be in a relationship while Steph and Jazzy were single. Never ever woulda believed em.  Now that it's true, though, I dont know if I even want to believe it...

Relationships

My best friend just separated from her boyfriend of over three years. They're still technically boyfriend and girlfriend, but they're taking a break from each other for a while (Two weeks I think she said). I really dont know how they're gonna get through this. Especially since they work together in a tiny little office. They've been together for over three freaking years. I don't think they even KNOW how to live without each other.

I was in class when it actually happened, but my other best friend was there for her, which I'm really glad for. I'm sitting at her house right now, watching the first best friend watch Jersey Shore to cheer herself up (And thats a great show to do it too. It's the kind of show that makes you feel so glad that you're NOT them!) I'm really glad she's laughing and having a good time right now, and I really hope she figures something out soon.


Thinking about them and how many issues they've had within their relationship, It makes me SO glad that I get along so well with my own boyfriend. I've been going out with him for almost three months (and yeah, I KNOW thats almost NOTHING compared to so much) and I've had absolutely NO fights with him (well, I mean we have little arguments about nothing, but thats mostly flirting) In that same period of time, these two have had multiple huge blow-outs where he's told me he's thinking of breaking up with her, and she's seriously afraid that he's gonna get rid of her. I feel SO blessed to have my boy, and I love him SO much, and I love the fact that he loves me too. I feel so happy, but I also feel really bad for my friend because she isn't having nearly as good a life as I am right now...

I love her so much, and I really hope they make it through this, even though I'm thinking they probably wont... I think they've pushed this thing to about as far as it'll go. Unfortunately, I think the only reason they WONT actually break up with each other is the fact that they're both afraid of trying to get through life alone. And that's REALLY not a good reason to stay in a relationship

I hope they figure things out. One way or the other.