Keep in mind that this is over and done with and i dont want to argue about it anymore. We're past this now, but I just want to get it off my chest
So i was doing a "lms n i'll post a confession" thing on facebook, cuz I was bored, and I was kinda gettin into it, and being brave (Kind of) So I posted one that said "My closest friends are some of the most antagonistic people I know" becasue its true. and then Steph, one of my best friends, commented with something along the lines of 'that really hurt' and i was sitting at Marks house when I read that. My immediate thought was to reply with 'well its true. How else to you want me to phrase it' but Mark, being the awesome boyfriend that he is, convinced me not to start drama over facebook. So instead, I posted another confession: "I am a coward and wont tell a certain person something face to face because I'm afraid it will break their heart" While thinking about Steph, because there was so much stuff she would do that just bugged the crap out of me, and I hadnt told her any of it, because I know how she likes to take things the wrong way and blow them out of proportion. But I wasnt just gonna out of the blue go up to her and be like "Hey, when you do this, i get mad" or whatever because I know I'm her best friend, and that would hurt her a hell of a lot.
Then she asked me about it. I knew I was gonna start stuff when I put that up, but I wasnt really sure how to deal with it. So at first I acted confused (Yes, i lied when I asked what you meant, steph. I was stalling, trying to think of how to say stuff), but when she kept pressing I finally blurted it out. a list of things she does that just annoys me so much. I didnt tell her everything (Because my mind goes blank when I try to think of things realy fast, and my text mesage wouldnt hold that much) so there are still a few things I havent said, but at this point I dont think I need to say them anymore.
So we argued back and forth for a while before we finally just said we're done. I dont know if either of us felt like we won. I know I didnt. I felt like shit because I made her feel like shit, because thats how I am. I'm empathetic (or sympathetic, or whichever it is) to all of my friends. If they're emotional, I'm emotional. For good or for bad. So i felt like absolute SHIT after that argument. I'm glad I was still at Marks house, because in the middle of it I started crying my eyes out.
He kept telling me it wasnt my fault and that it needed to be said, but I stil felt like I should've held it in longer. Just put up with it for a little longer. Just try to ignore the twinge of annoyance whenever it cropped up. But if I'd done that it probably would've made it even worse.
Most of the things I told her about were just little things, but there was so much, and it was the same little thing time and time again that made it bug me so fucking much. If I'd waited I probably would've blown up so much bigger.
Anyway. We're pretty much back to normal now. We arent yet, but thats because I havent seen her yet, and I still have to giver her a freaking BEAR HUG! Because I feel that only hugs are the real, absolute END to an argument. Because I do love my Stephie. So much. She's one of my best friends, and She's been my closest friend the longest (We met when I was in 4th grade, yo.) and she needs me in her life, and I need her in my life.
After all, What are best friends for?
