I feel like I should write more right now, but I dont really know what to talk about.
Okay, I do know what I want to talk about but I know it would start shit, and i really dont want to do that right now...
so yeah. Here's me NOT starting shit.
Bye
Friday, November 4, 2011
Life, Love, Mark
Where to start... I havent posted anything up here since like . . . . June, I think.
Anyway, the Oregon thing with Mark never happened, because he was getting sick of being around Ethan nonstop for only a week, so he decided against it. Mark was also thinking about the Navy for a while. He wants to play trumpet in the navy band. I'm fairly certain he decided against that too, though.
For a while I was getting worried because he was focusing so much on the future, I felt like he was gonna end up messing something up with what he has now. I talked to him about it a while ago, and he told me that everything he's been thinking about doing has all been for me. If it wasnt for me he'd be working part time and just fishing every day. But because he has me he's working full-time, and planning for the future so that he'll be able to support me and eventually a family. I cannot even tell you how happy it made me when he told me that. He's also told me he plans on spending the rest of his life with me, and that he would do everything in his power to make sure it happens. I'm absolutely thrilled to say I have the same plan in mind.
I feel like I have to point out, I've only been together with Mark since November 2010 (Less than a month til our anniversary :3 ) and yet I already know for a fact I want to marry this boy. But I cant help but feel anxious that this isnt actually gonna happen. I have a horrible fear that he'll look at me one day and say, "I lied. I dont actually love you. We're done" and walk away. I know he's not the kind of guy to do ar say something like that, but I'm always gonna be afraid of that. If he left, I dont know what I'd do. He's become the center of my life, and one of the only reasons I want to do anything anymore, just like he says I'm his only reason for doing anything besides surviving.
He asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I would be ecstatic to move in with him, except he lives in Galt, and I have school and work here in Rancho Cordova. The fact that he lives with his dad n step-mom doesnt really help the fact either. Not that I dont like being around them, its just that I've made my life here, and making a 40 minute commute every day (especially to work, where I have to be at 5 in the morning) would kill my car, and probably me as well. I told him this, and he understands. He's just itching to get to the future faster than it'll get here. He's doing so much so that he can make a life with me and I think it's absolutely amazing and I love him SO much for it.
Anyway, the Oregon thing with Mark never happened, because he was getting sick of being around Ethan nonstop for only a week, so he decided against it. Mark was also thinking about the Navy for a while. He wants to play trumpet in the navy band. I'm fairly certain he decided against that too, though.
For a while I was getting worried because he was focusing so much on the future, I felt like he was gonna end up messing something up with what he has now. I talked to him about it a while ago, and he told me that everything he's been thinking about doing has all been for me. If it wasnt for me he'd be working part time and just fishing every day. But because he has me he's working full-time, and planning for the future so that he'll be able to support me and eventually a family. I cannot even tell you how happy it made me when he told me that. He's also told me he plans on spending the rest of his life with me, and that he would do everything in his power to make sure it happens. I'm absolutely thrilled to say I have the same plan in mind.
I feel like I have to point out, I've only been together with Mark since November 2010 (Less than a month til our anniversary :3 ) and yet I already know for a fact I want to marry this boy. But I cant help but feel anxious that this isnt actually gonna happen. I have a horrible fear that he'll look at me one day and say, "I lied. I dont actually love you. We're done" and walk away. I know he's not the kind of guy to do ar say something like that, but I'm always gonna be afraid of that. If he left, I dont know what I'd do. He's become the center of my life, and one of the only reasons I want to do anything anymore, just like he says I'm his only reason for doing anything besides surviving.
He asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I would be ecstatic to move in with him, except he lives in Galt, and I have school and work here in Rancho Cordova. The fact that he lives with his dad n step-mom doesnt really help the fact either. Not that I dont like being around them, its just that I've made my life here, and making a 40 minute commute every day (especially to work, where I have to be at 5 in the morning) would kill my car, and probably me as well. I told him this, and he understands. He's just itching to get to the future faster than it'll get here. He's doing so much so that he can make a life with me and I think it's absolutely amazing and I love him SO much for it.
Theres always that nagging fear that something will go wrong, though . . . .
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