I am seriously pathetic. Today is Halloween. I have no plans, and I'm not going out tonight.
Originally I was going to hang out with Mark, but he decided to go home after class instead of coming over, so that didn't work. Steph and Jazzy went to the club tonight and invited me, but I have work at 6 tomorrow, so that's a no-go. Bailey and Allie invited me to a party with them, But again with the work thing. Katelyn offered to steal me away, but at that point I was already settled into my lazy, self-pity party and watching TV, so I declined that offer too.
So basically my point is that once I get in a bad mood, I think I want to stay in a bad mood. People try to cheer me up and I refuse. Its like I'm just holding on so tightly to my horrid mood for some reason and I don't want to get out of it. Maybe because its an emotion I'm not used to. But that cant be right. I feel like this way too often to not be used to it. And its not because I feel void of emotion usually so I try to hold onto whatever I can. I feel so many emotions, and I cant even identify all of them sometimes. I don't know. I don't know whats wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it.
And don't start feeling sorry for me and try to come cheer me up.
I'll probably refuse that help too.
